Yeah. Interesting little ditty we have here on the islands, or on San Cristobal at least. Firstly, let's start with the word "mijo." Mijo is a combination of "mi" and "hijo" which translates into "my son." "Phenomenon"---well, you already know that one. The idea of such a phenomenon comes from the parental need to protect one's children--to make a beautiful place in this world for them with no embarrassment or failure. Every parent wants that for their child. But the difference is----not every parent acts on it, much less to the extreme that I see it here.
No, the mijo phenomenon is unique and can be somewhat seen in the USA. It is that mentality that when the shit hits the fan, my child/mijo can do no wrong. It is the system or someone else causing the problem, not mijo who is clearly the victim. Mijo loves his Mami and Papi, and Mami and Papi adore mijo. The parents expect their son to be a "man"....punch someone in the face, have unprotected sex with many women. But, when said happens, it does not occur without their loving hands reaching in clean their son's wounds and curse the other guy for being a vicious attacker even though their son instigated it. Or, you know, raising the child that their mijo illegitimately bore. It's disturbing no matter where you see it.
However, on this end, the mijo phenomenon goes one step further and is very extreme..... Let's explore with a few examples. There is a 7 year old that lives here at the university, and his grandparents are the primary caretakers---with help from the aunts and uncles when they are here. So, instances of said mijo-isms, we'll say:
MP 1: The child did not want to eat his lunch and instead was being obnoxious. Instead of chiding the child or reprimanding him, the grandfather came and told the child how important it was to eat. After which, he spoon-fed the child. I have seen this more than once.
MP 2: The child is in the bathroom doing, you know, his thing. The grandfather enters the bathroom to check on how he's doing. (I mean, it's a bowel movement...you would think his intestines would have this one under control, but obviously not). When he finishes his business, he calls for the grandfather who comes to wipe him. Seven years old.....I've seen this more than once as well.
MP 3: Lastly, let's not completely blame the grandparents.... Yesterday, the child went off to play. His aunt opened his Science book and began writing. I was incredulous, thinking there was NO way she was actually doing the homework. (I mean, that's just insanity!!!) So, I did some crafty sleuthing, and turns out----no, she wasn't correcting his homework, she WAS actually doing it for him. Clearly, it would be more of a disservice to the child to have him miss playtime or have him traumatized at school for not having his homework done than to actually have HIM do his homework to learn it. Clearly.
It is astonishing. While I AM an advocate for helping your children and a little life-padding every once and awhile, I still can't help but gawk at such behavior (I gawk at those parents in the USA who are still making their 34 year old son's sandwiches, giving him an allowance, and cursing everyone else who expects him to be an adult for being insensitive to his plight). Don't get me wrong, not all sons here have the mijo phenomenon with their parents, nor all parents exercise this behavior. No, not at all. I know several self-supporting products here of the "tough love" attitude as I guess you'd call it...(I call it healthy child-rearing, but to each their own). Likewise, the mijo phenomenon is not strictly reserved simply for boys as I've seen some "mija" (little girl) phenomenon as well. But, nonetheless....I feel it is more so iconic with the men because it is expected that the daughters are babied until a big, strong, honorable man sweeps in to save her and make her an honest woman by impregnating her, cheating on her, and possibly giving her an STD. However, every time I see it, and it is often, I am flabbergasted that this form of behavior is not only acceptable, but in many cases (I hate to say stereotypes exist for a reason) encouraged. It is simply and utterly....mind blowing.
No, the mijo phenomenon is unique and can be somewhat seen in the USA. It is that mentality that when the shit hits the fan, my child/mijo can do no wrong. It is the system or someone else causing the problem, not mijo who is clearly the victim. Mijo loves his Mami and Papi, and Mami and Papi adore mijo. The parents expect their son to be a "man"....punch someone in the face, have unprotected sex with many women. But, when said happens, it does not occur without their loving hands reaching in clean their son's wounds and curse the other guy for being a vicious attacker even though their son instigated it. Or, you know, raising the child that their mijo illegitimately bore. It's disturbing no matter where you see it.
However, on this end, the mijo phenomenon goes one step further and is very extreme..... Let's explore with a few examples. There is a 7 year old that lives here at the university, and his grandparents are the primary caretakers---with help from the aunts and uncles when they are here. So, instances of said mijo-isms, we'll say:
MP 1: The child did not want to eat his lunch and instead was being obnoxious. Instead of chiding the child or reprimanding him, the grandfather came and told the child how important it was to eat. After which, he spoon-fed the child. I have seen this more than once.
MP 2: The child is in the bathroom doing, you know, his thing. The grandfather enters the bathroom to check on how he's doing. (I mean, it's a bowel movement...you would think his intestines would have this one under control, but obviously not). When he finishes his business, he calls for the grandfather who comes to wipe him. Seven years old.....I've seen this more than once as well.
MP 3: Lastly, let's not completely blame the grandparents.... Yesterday, the child went off to play. His aunt opened his Science book and began writing. I was incredulous, thinking there was NO way she was actually doing the homework. (I mean, that's just insanity!!!) So, I did some crafty sleuthing, and turns out----no, she wasn't correcting his homework, she WAS actually doing it for him. Clearly, it would be more of a disservice to the child to have him miss playtime or have him traumatized at school for not having his homework done than to actually have HIM do his homework to learn it. Clearly.
It is astonishing. While I AM an advocate for helping your children and a little life-padding every once and awhile, I still can't help but gawk at such behavior (I gawk at those parents in the USA who are still making their 34 year old son's sandwiches, giving him an allowance, and cursing everyone else who expects him to be an adult for being insensitive to his plight). Don't get me wrong, not all sons here have the mijo phenomenon with their parents, nor all parents exercise this behavior. No, not at all. I know several self-supporting products here of the "tough love" attitude as I guess you'd call it...(I call it healthy child-rearing, but to each their own). Likewise, the mijo phenomenon is not strictly reserved simply for boys as I've seen some "mija" (little girl) phenomenon as well. But, nonetheless....I feel it is more so iconic with the men because it is expected that the daughters are babied until a big, strong, honorable man sweeps in to save her and make her an honest woman by impregnating her, cheating on her, and possibly giving her an STD. However, every time I see it, and it is often, I am flabbergasted that this form of behavior is not only acceptable, but in many cases (I hate to say stereotypes exist for a reason) encouraged. It is simply and utterly....mind blowing.
No comments:
Post a Comment